
How easy is it for you to lose your sense of peace and contentment? Until I started paying attention to it, I never realized how quickly my mind could shift from “today is going to be great!” to “could anything else go wrong?”. I wanted to share this blog in hopes that those who struggle with maintaining positive sentiment could be encouraged with some helpful tools/tips for shifting back into contentment.
The practice of being content or having “inner peace” is not one that denies the struggles and inconveniences of daily life. It’s a strength-based state of being that offers a sense of control by acknowledging both positive and negatives experiences and how they impact our thoughts, actions, and feelings.
Take a minute to list the things that steal your peace. I’ll make a generic one here, but I’d encourage you to do one as well so that it’s specific to you.
Things that can steal your inner peace:
Gossip
Fear
Complaining
Finances
A messy house
Being put on hold over the phone
Taxes
Politics
Micromanagement
Chores
Negative feedback/Conflict
How do these impact your thoughts/feelings/behaviors?
Take a minute to list what strengthens your inner peace. I’ll make a generic list, but again, I’d encourage you to do one as well.
Things that can strengthen your inner peace:
Exercise
Connecting with others
Faith/Spirituality
Balancing work/life events
Listening to Music/Experiences in Nature
Rest
Learning/making time for personal growth
Experiencing joy
Support/Appreciation
How do these impact your thoughts/feelings/behaviors?
What I find most interesting about these lists is that both can be influenced by others AND by us. For example, I might be complaining, or someone might be complaining to me. Complaining might feel good for one person but not the other. Similarly, I might ask to connect with someone by going out for coffee with them or they might invite me to connect with them by going out for coffee. Depending on my state of mind, that could feel like a way to re-fuel, or it could feel like another thing I have to check off on my “list of to do’s”.
If we develop an awareness of what's driving our thoughts and feelings as well as how we are fueling those thoughts and feelings/being influenced by others, we are more likely to stay in control of our thoughts and feelings. Since our thoughts and feelings change on a day-to-day basis, reflecting on our day in effort to understand what is stealing our peace can help us course correct and shift to a state of contentment.
For those who feel like they are constantly struggling with feeling
content one minute and spiraling into chaos the next, try taking more time to assess what is driving those shifts. Look for ways to protect your inner peace by:
1. Creating time for things you enjoy
2. Identifying and acknowledging your feelings
a. What feelings is it
b. Ask where the feeling came from
c. Why that feeling is important
d. How you can move through that feeling (i.e. what needs to be done in order for you to process the feeling)
3. Set boundaries for yourself and with others if needed
4. Develop new habits that support/encourage yourself and others
5. Build self-confidence and self-appreciation
6. Take responsibility for your actions not the actions of others
7. Be honest with yourself and others about what you can and can’t do
8. Ask for help
9. Identify what you need to prioritize by establishing what is most important to you
10. Take time to assess and process each day to see where you may have lost contentment and what you can do to reestablish it.
While this is not an exhaustive list, I’m hopeful it’s one that can help you start the process of obtaining a daily mindset to maintain your inner peace. Contentment is not always the first feeling we experience, but it is often the goal as we learn to work through and acknowledge life experiences.
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